Who is this mysterious iPhone girl?

My Guilty Television Pleasures

The Bachelor/Bachelorette

This season's Bachelorette is DeAnna Pappas, and she's a cutie. I'm sure all you readers are laughing right now, but I do enjoy watching these two shows. I can back up why I watch them though, I like to see people make fools of themselves for beautiful people, and I also like to see women wearing bikinis. If that isn't good tv, I don't know what is.

The purpouse of these shows is for one person to weed out one person from a batch of 25 and get married. Now, thats all well and good, but it seems to me like these people on the show always pick the douchiest person of the batch as their better half. DeAnna was on the bachelor and the guy dumped her, so now she's back with a vengance jumping on all of the douchiest guys on the planet, then again DeAnna may look good, but I think that she has the personality of a dull rock.


Design Star

This is a show on the odder end of my vast array of tv taste. Design Star is on HGTV and the main premise is that 10 designers use their designs to compete against one another in an all out design battle. I tried to make that description sound like Mortal Kombat with paint sample fans to manly it up a little more.

This show is funny because 2 people always make it on...
1. The Cryer - Last season it was an overly emotional man that made me laugh with delight because almost anytime anyone said anything to him about his work he cried. This season it's some stuck up woman from Kentucky who cried five times last episode. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not, she cried five times.

2. The Outwardly Gay - There is always more than one in the group I'm sure, but there is ALWAYS one that stands out singing "Fabulous" in the crowd. Last season it was a guy named "Sparkle" Josh. This season it's a guy named Michael, who is quite funny. He called the crying woman from Kentucky "Mommy Dearest" one episode, I got a kick out of that.

Judge if you will, but these shows are entertaining as hell!

Stan Romaneck

I will make this quick because I don't know how long that this video will be posted on Youtube. If you've been living under a rock then you haven't heard about Stan Romaneck. Long story short, he videotaped and "alien" peering into his window. This video is getting shut down quick so I hope it is still up for viewing when you read this. Let me know your thoughts. Take into consideration that this video does have timecode and it does have a reflection of the opposite wall in the background. The "alien" is definitely on the outside of the window. Look at how fluid the motions it makes are, and how it blinks. You opinions?

Let's Keep The Fantasy Out Of Sports.

Something I noticed a lot in school, and my brief stint in the office environment of a company was people's love for sports. I am not a huge sports person, sure I enjoy going to events, but that is mostly for the food. I have been known to watch a Chicago Bears football game every now and again, or event a golf tournament with my dad. I'll never understand the craze for "fantasy" sports though.

To clarify, there is no fantasy involved at all. It is when a group of men, who are either too terrible at sports in real life, or were the sports "all stars" in high school, gather together and pick players from sports teams to build a giant mega team. Now, I haven't done much research into this type of fad (mostly because I got a headache trying to figure batting averages, and then fell asleep when I was reading the names of these players.) but it appears that you watch the event your "players" are in, and you are assigned points per "awesome feat" that the player does per game. Then, I assume the winner is the person with the most points at the end of the season.

Where is the fantasy involved in that? Unless Gandalf is running the bases with his sword in hand, or Frodo is dodging tackles left and right only to spike the one ring down into the end zone fires of Mt. Doom, it isn't fantasy.

Though, as I read what I have written about fantasy sports it does really sound like an RPG does it not? How come nobody ever made fun of them in high school, yet the D&D kids were outcasts? Everyone is a nerd...put that in your pipe sports stars.

So I tell you what, lets make a compromise. Start a petition for a live action Dragonlance film, check Perezhilton.com daily, watch The Soup, and listen to Lingo weekly.

B-rate celebrities can be real jerks!

Over the past weekend I attended the Motor City Comic Convention. This is a place where I feel like the most normal person on the planet. If you have never attended any sort of convention let me explain the science of it.

The magic all happens in a room, around the size of a football field (give or take), where B-rate celebrities, comic book writers/artists/publishers, and the occasional porn star await your comments. There are also tons of stands riddled with comic book/sci-fi trinkets all of which can be yours in exchange for, sometimes, hefty amounts of cash.

There was an excellent line up of celebs that had all the Star Trek and Star Wars fans about wetting their pants upon arrival (myself included). I am a huge fan of walking around, soaking up the atmosphere, and after I've geeked out and calmed down I meet and greet with the celebs. I spoke with Mr. Tom Sullivan himself. For all of you not up to code on awesomeness in the horror world, Tom Sullivan designed the Book of the Dead for the "Evil Dead" series and did all the art inside. Tom was the nicest guy I've ever met (even cooler than Sid Haig). He spoke with my friends and I for about a half hour telling us on set stories and cracking jokes with us. Not only did he sign my Book of the Dead edition dvd, but he also signed and 8x10 picture of one of the pages.

Next on my stop of people to meet was another very famous make-up/fx artist. I won't give his name, but I will do my best to drop hints at who he was. His stand was riddled with posters of the work that he had done (one of these posters was advertising his make-up school). He was very pompous and acted like it was a burden that people were speaking to him.

A side note, all of these celebrities are paid to attend this convention, they don't do it out of the goodness of their heart.

That being said I shook his hand and said his name in amazement. He never made eye contact with me and replied "That's my name." Then I asked him if he was doing any work currently, he replied with a simple "Lost Boys 2...that's it."

I was starting to get the feeling of the smelly kid in class, you know what I mean, everybody knows he smells but they don't say anything to him, they just wrinkle their noses and hope he gets the picture.

I pulled out my "Ultimate Edition" dvd of one of his most notorious works and asked him to sign it. With sharpie in one hand and dvd in the other he casually pointed to a handmade paper sign on his table that read...I will sign all personal items for free, with purchase of an item from my table.

WHAT! Let me tell you something, THAT'S NOT FREE! This is why I added my sidebar earlier, everything that they sell goes right in their pocket, and when they force you to purchase something to get a signature I see that as plain wrong.

My best friend reminded me of a documentary that Bruce Campbell did called "Fandom". He mentions how fans, or the more extreme fanatic, are very touchy. If the celebrity we meet is nice to us, we will be fans of theirs until the day that we die, if they are dicks, we take it very personally.

That being said, I am severely boycotting this celebs work from now on, I don't care how good it is.

My next celeb encounter is very similar to the last, but this time I knew when to shower. This bodybuilder turned actor, probably had a hard time hearing me, but either way... You would think that a bodybuilder would have a strong handshake for starters, I'm a wimp and I feel like a crush people's hands when I shake them. I was fearing I would break this bodybuilder's giant hand when I shook it his handshake was so weak. As I spoke to him and asked him questions he looked around the room, uninterested in what I have to say, and was charging 30 dollars a photograph. I'm not talking about a signed photograph, I'm talking about a impromptu photo with yours truly take by my friend with their camera. I walked away from his table only after a few moments, knowing my efforts to speak with him were in vein.

So to all celebs that attend conventions. If your fans are a burden to you, or you feel you need to charge outrageous prices for things that are trivial to people i.e. 8x10 photos of yourself, or your name...don't attend the convention. you are only hurting your own career when you leave a fan high and dry.

Could you guess the mean celebs?

Otherwise it was an excellent convention, mostly because I got to hang out with my two best friends and be big nerds.