My Name Is Andrew, And I Like To Dance!

Lingo Episode 1

Doug and I taped the first episode of Lingo last night and we are working on getting it posted to the Lingo blog today.

Commercials I Hate

Everybody watches TV, that's science...but how many people voice their opinion about the commercials we watch? Now I think the person who invented the Tivo said everything that he wanted with that machine, "Fuck commercials".

However I am a man without a Tivo, so I must rant and you must listen now.

My first group of commercials I hate is Yoplait commercials:

What makes me so aggrivated with these commercials is the fact that they DON'T MENTION THAT THEY ARE EATING YOGURT! Maybe I'm a bit too emotional about this, but I find that not only is that poor advertising, it's annoying as hell. I'm sure Yoplait thought that they were being "clever" and "cute" when they came up with these ads but let me tell Yoplait...you suck! I love their yogurt, but I want to buy it less and less every time I see one of these two commercials.

The Fridge atrocity:


Ok two things about this commercial...
1. This woman needs to explain that she is eating flavored yogurt.
2. This is the point that makes me mad, when the wife looks back at her curious husband and says "Babe, what are you doing?". Okay, see above point on why the man is confused. Also, why is she being so condescending to him? I'm sure to most it looks like the woman is curious into her husband's actions, but I think that she has been plotting this conversation waiting for the right moment to make him look like a jerk. I bet there really isnt' anyone on the phone.

The Seamstress From Hell:


Eh, so much about this commercial makes me want to go postal on Yoplait. Lets break it down again shall we...

1.Ok first of all she looks like she is at a dry cleaners. Just because you have a measuring tape around your neck does not mean that you are a seamstress.
2.She just goes on a rant about the shit shes been stuffing in her mouth, NO YOGURT MENTIONED!
3.They get into an argument about if the clothes need to be let out or taken in. An argument which could have been avoided had she mentioned her recent yogurt binge.
4.The woman attempts to explain that she needs her clothes taken in by telling the woman that she walked into her "alteration shop". I can walk into a store, but that doesn't explain to someone with no shoes how I put mine on in the morning.

The next company on my chopping block for stupid commercials is Taco Bell. I love Taco Bell, but I feel that they have been waging war against me. They took the cheesy gordita crunch off the menu, that's tacosphamy (that is the word taco and blasphamy together). Then they aired this commercial.

I would never date this woman:


1.If that redhead really wants to get a date she should not be hanging out with the WAY hotter blond girl.
2.If the redhead thinks that a man will smell a bacon taco in a dance club filled with sweaty people, vomit, and booze, then shes aiming for a guy that is minimum of 500 pounds.
3.The blond is way hotter.

Now this next Taco Bell commercial is on every 30 seconds and I wish that I could punch these people in the face.

Rap Music Sucks:


1.Why is the driver wearing sunglasses at night?
2.Why is the second person rapping from the backseat? You can hear 2 people fine from the front.
3.How did he know the employee was named Stephanie?
4.Didn't the kid beat boxing in the backseat play a nerd in an episode of Are You Afraid Of The Dark?
5.They want to eat something big, with a bunch of beef. That sounds like it should be in a gay porn.
6.THE TACO IS 89 CENTS AND HE IS MAD THAT HE HAS TO SPEND 89 CENTS MORE ON HIS FRIEND...WHAT AN ASS!
7.Then at the end they act like they have never been in a drive thru situation before. He asks if he needs to pull around and his loser backseat buddy yells at him. They shouldn't pull around because there are two scenarios that can happen now...
Scenario 1- The employee "Stephanie" probably didn't understand what they wanted to eat, and then they will have to pull around and order again.
Scenario 2- "Stephanie" shoots them for rapping into her speaker.

I like scenario 2.

KFC Snacker:


1.I feel like I've seen that girl actress in something before.
2.If that dude took a dollar out of my couch and didn't tell me until he was eating the sandwich that he bought with my money, I would punch him in the face.
3.Did you see how obvious they were being with the dollar in the letter. That isn't subliminal advertising its just bad.

So keep your eyes out for any annoying commercials that you hate and let me know if there are any I should comment on next.

Lingo

It's been a busy week so far, between writing, getting everything ready for the premiere of my podcast Lingo, and looking for jobs, my time is short for anything else.

This post is primarily just to let everyone know about Lingo: a geekly podcast.

My co-host, Doug, and I have spent almost two weeks compiling information for the show and working out a nice seamless flow. New eps will be available every Friday, and you can link to the RSS feed through: lingopodcast.blogspot.com

Be sure to check it out, we will cover some great topics....comics, film, and technology to name a few. Plus it's a good way for all of you readers to hear my pretty voice...wink!

So tonight Doug and I are working out the kinks with the first ep and will be playing with some content ideas, then tomorrow night we record!

So, long story just a little bit longer, check out the Lingo site weekly and I will try and keep you posted on the goings on with new eps!

Why I don't ever eat McDonalds

If this doesn't give you nightmares you must fear nothing.