The aisles of Target are bursting with candy for the fast approaching holiday. This is perfect for me since I'm always on the hunt for new Halloween candy. I was not disappointed.
Yes, Chef Ghoulicious lives up to his ghoul-tastic name by packaging boogers for youngsters to eat. The "boogers" are varied in color, from dark green to the extra nasty yellow. They are also textured to have that booger look. These gummies are soft and gooey and they stick together like putty.
As for taste, they are sweet. Then again how could boogers not be sweet with flavors like "Snottermelon" "Sour Green Boogy" and "Lemon Loogy"? I'm not sure if boogers are sweet are not I"m not sure, though you may not believe it I do not eat boogers.
Good for a gag, but otherwise stick with something a little less slimy and something a little more canabalistic...Sour Patch Kids.
Just from looking at the cover of this film you know that it is going to be brutal...and it is. So brutal I actually found myself holding my hand up to my face with split fingers to skew my vision, while still wanting to watch every second.
The film follows Sarah, a pregnant woman who is still mourning the loss of her husband Matthieu who died four months earlier in a car crash where she was the only survivor. Now she is pregnant and alone, and to top it all off she's set to deliver on Christmas day. At home is is plagued by nightmares about her child and is startled awake by a knock at the door. Someone who knows her name and everything about here is outside wanting in.
A visit from the police puts her mind at ease as she lays in bed for the night. She wakes again because a woman shrouded in black stabs her in the bellybutton with a pair of scissors. Yeah, in the friggin bellybutton. Sarah slips into the bathroom, and the attacker wreaks havoc on Sarah and the visitors that show up at different times through the night.
Just how gruesome is this film?
Here's a taste....
There is an at home tracheotomy preformed with a knitting needle...and an at home c-section preformed with scissors.
This is an excellent French film that is very similar to the film "The Strangers"...which releases Tuesday on DVD.
It follows Clementine and her significant other Lucas who live in a remote mansion in Snagow. After a strange phone call before bed Clem is woken up by several strange noises outside and sees that her car has moved.
No electricity, strange lights shining into the house, and short encounters with shadowy figures leave this couple terrified for their life. Will they survive?
This film really makes use of shadows and natural sound which amplifies the creepiness of it. In the beginning it mentions that it is based on a true story, which parts are true and which are fabricated I'm not sure, but the added element of it being based on something that actually happened definitely made me appreciate the film more.
Just recently "Friday the 13th: The Series" released on DVD and it got me thinking. I love horror movies as much as the next person, but horror TV shows are an even better because it's a constantly weekly installment with an ever changing plot. However many of these have taken a turn for the worse, and really sucked up many hours of my time. I could spend many long winded paragraphs explaining what I like and dislike in a horror show, but I say we jump right into it and start with the worst of them.
Friday the 13th: The Series:
The basic premise of this series is that Lewis, an antiques store owner, makes a deal with the devil that requires him to sell cursed items. Lewis breaks this pact and dies from it. Now Ryan and Micki, Lewis' niece and nephew, have inherited the antiques store and, along with one of Lewis' friends Jack, they have to retrieve all the goods that were sold.
Why is this show bad?
Well for starters it's called "Friday the 13th: The Series", so you would assume that they would associate Jason with this in some way/shape/or form. Not only does this show have nothing to do with Jason Vorhees, it also has nothing to do with Friday the 13th. The items don't disappear on this date, in fact, they only briefly mention the date in one episode. There isn't an episode even set on the date!
Every episode focuses on the three characters finding out about a new missing item and them trying to find the item to lock up in the vault in the basement. With episodes like Cupid's Quiver, or Bedazzled you would think the show would be a hit right? Well, it did go on for 3 seasons.
Kindred: The Embraced
This was a soap opera on Fox back in the mid-90s, which was loosely based on the Vampire the Masquerade. This series only ran for 8 episodes, granted they were in talks for a second season, but pulled the plug when one of their main actors died.
This show focuses on San Fransisco cop Frank Kohanek (C. Thomas Howell) and his quest to find alleged mobster Jullian Luna. Jullian is actually the Kindred prince and very involved with the masquerade, a group of vampires that tries to keep the vampire legend just that.
Freddy's Nightmares:
At least this television spinoff still had something to do with the character that made the film series famous. That's right Freddy is back, and he's moved off of Elm Street and now invades the nightmares of Springwood Ohio kids. Well, he doesn't even really invade their nightmares, more like he introduces them.
Each episode was two fold, the first segment would tell one story, then the second segment would take a minor character from the first and revolve it around them. Freddy would pop in from time to time, mostly in little breaks between segments and offer a little quip with a morbid twist.
Kolchak The Night Stalker:
If you're thinking "Murder She Wrote" with the dad from "A Christmas Story" you'd be right. That comparasin is probably the best thing about this show, that and the fact that this was one of the inspirations for "The X-Files".
The series focused on Carl Kochak, a newspaper reporter who investigated mysterious crimes that the proper authorities wouldn't look into. That's pretty much it. Unbelievably, this show actually got re-made in 2005 starring Stuart Townsend as Carl Kolchak. It was cancelled after six episodes.
Millenium:
Produced by Chris Carter (creator of "The X-Files"), this show focused on FBI investigator Frank Black, and was set in the years leading up to the new millenium (1996-1999). Now Frank had himself a special gift...he could see through the eyes of serial killers. Therefore it is only appropriate that he dealt with the nastiest crimes and dealt with all the millenium rumors.
I think the best part about this show is that Terry O' Quinn is in it.
Wolf Lake:
This series focused on a pack of werewolves living in Seattle. I think I've said enough...it was cancelled after nine episodes.
Forever Knight:
This show follows Nick Knight, an 800 year old vampire working in modern day Toronto. He is seeking to repay society for his sins. If this doesn't scream Angel I don't know what does.
Not to be confused with Elisha Cuthbert's "The Girl Next Door", Jack Ketchum's tale is probably one of the most raw, dirty, gut churning tales I have seen in a long time. I actually found myself wanting to stop the movie every five minutes, it was that hard to watch.
This film is set in the 1950's in suburbia. Davy is a young kid brought up in the typical "Leave it to Beaver" household. He meets Meg the gorgeous cousin of his neighbors while out craw fishing in a creek near his house, and there is an instant connection.
Meg and her sister were involved in a car crash that killed their parents. Her aunt and their three cousins were gracious enough to take them in. The sisters were sorely disappointed to find out that their cousins were among the ranks of what you would call hillbillies. Meg's aunt is not what you would call the greatest mother either. She feeds the neighborhood kids beer and talks to them about things like the "hoochie coochie" show she used to watch at the carnivals she went to as a little girl.
As the film progresses Meg confesses to Davy that her aunt isn't letting her eat because she thinks she is fat. Then, on one of Davy's many visits to their house she accuses Meg of being a town whore.
All the boys in town are attracted to Meg, even her cousins, and they invent a "game" to try and make her confess whatever secrets that she has. Meg's aunt likes the idea of this "game" and allows the boys to proceed.
The "game" is in fact not a game at all. They string up Meg down in the basement and hoist her arms above her head with ropes and gag her.
I wont go on because this film proceeds to get more and more disturbing as time passes. You'll just have to watch and see what happens.
Though this film touches on some very disturbing subjects it has the underlying themes of family secrets, and the helplessness of children, and how parents can shut down to the truth their children tell them and ignore the possiblity they are right.
If you can make it through this film you will be so glad that you did. This is one film that hit me hard like "Requiem for a Dream". This is a true horror film.
